I Too Braved a Dream!

A chill ran down my spine and that broke my sleep. I realized I was not covering myself with the blanket and it was cold. I had drifted on to the floor. I don’t sleep on a bed. So that’s normal. The mind is ok to drift off from the bed sheet, It protects you even when you are asleep.  I covered myself, switched of the fan and then tried to reach slumber. I looked up at the ceiling, dark it was, I positioned sideways, dark again. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. Einstein was the first who propagated the theory of relative time, and believe me its true. I checked my watch it had only been 5 min…and I thought I had been trying to sleep for the past one hour. Worst part, It was already 4 a.m. During this time the biological clock sets in..it howls in your head..cummon man….no point going to sleep now!

But then I told myself something which Einstein did not and Birbal Miyan did…”this too shall pass!” And yes I did feel the shallow peace of sleep.

Life lately has been very similar to this. Whether to have a calm sleep or a disturbing push that needs to be sorted out. Time does roll in diff measures.  For me it would go at say speed T, but for someone else…its going at bloody speed t+∞!!

But then what Einstein did not know was known by us thousands of years ago. Time is what you make of it. Time is how you define it.  When you do what you are supposed to do, with complete submission to the almighty, then you break away from the shackles of space & time. But do that from heart and not your mind….. Coz Mind Justifies mistakes, heart forgives them all. Mind calculates time and the heart…it just calculates the beats…

See that’s what happens when I get up at the middle of the night…. So yes I did brave a dream…

A POEM..

Life is a poem

Some verses you write

And some just come by

The letters form words

And words create a line

Moments create time

And time defines life

That’s what a poem does

It sets the tone

It sets a sight

They say life starts with a word

I say it always ends with a word

And all that lies between.....Is a poem    

The Rain

It’s raining outside. Has been like this for the past 5 days. The smell from the soil is just so pure. Don’t want to play any music as the sound of drops falling on objects is creating a masterpiece. The sky is as dark as those elegant eyes. There is a chill in the air, like the one I feel on my hands when I place it outside a moving train. So much water so much sound. Nature is so ruthless and mesmerizing at the same time. Probably this is what they refer to as Kali. Guess it is just a beautiful terror. The tea is hot and I have a cigarette. Every sip just gets absorbed by every pore in the body. It’s a time when she (nature) makes you feel that you are a part of her. That shivering leave on the branch is me. That wet blade of grass is me. The hasty toad is again me. The water seeping into the room is me.

Sad part is I am not here in it…I am miles away, not in body but in soul… This rain is magic, but I am standing in it clueless. I can feel the drops on my face, but don’t know what to call them… rain or terror..

A Missed Turn

We were driving at a very average speed, but we missed that turn we were looking for. Maybe we were too indulged in talking or just did not notice a small signboard that said “turn right”. She was in no hurry as usual, but me being time crazy as usual, just lost it. We had to reach there on time. People were waiting for us and I never get late. I hate waiting for others and make sure they don’t wait for me.  Ever since I remember, I have never been late for anything. And unlike others, once or twice when I did get late, I was never offered any concessions. So I have always made it a point that I make it on time, even if it meant reaching there an hour early. Without a map or GPS it was hard to drive on as I was not sure if it was the right road anymore. But she has this knack of sensing things. Although the most logical option was to take a U turn, I agreed with her. We kept moving forward. Finally another turn came and this time we took it. We reached an hour late. But people there said it was good we dint take that turn (the one we missed) as it was a bad road and we would have been stuck there.

So all this time I was cribbing on why we missed that turn, and suddenly it was good to have missed that turn.  Can life offer such concessions?...

A moment in time!!

What r you looking at?

You….

Why?

Just like that…I love you and when I look at you I love the way you look back…

Hmmm

I was just thinking the other day…what will I do if you don’t look at me like that someday. It defines me now. It helps me remember who I am. What if you look at me someday as if I was a stranger?  What if?

Don’t say that, I will never look at you like that…I just cannot anymore…it’s a habit now.

I am hungry, let’s go out and eat something.

What do you want to eat?

Whatever you like…

How about pizzas?

Okies!!

OUT IN THE OPEN

There is regret. Always there is regret.
But it is better that our lives unloose,
As two tall ships, wind-mastered, wet with light,
Break from an estuary, with their courses set,
And waving part, and waving drop from sight.
-- Philip Larkin

Until you return home your lives floated evenly down a current determined by the lay of the land and the banks constraining it. Suddenly the river ends and you find yourselves in an estuary. You still feel the tug of the flow that until recently sufficed to keep you moving. But now there are winds and tides to reckon with. Neighbours who speak in foreign tongues jostle you. You find friends and form flotillas. You learn how to hoist your sail, how to navigate, how to drop anchor. Slowly you earn your sea-legs. In the harbour are some grizzled sailors who bark advice at you. But you pay them little heed. You listen more keenly to the tales of voyagers from distant lands who speak of the fabulous Indies, of the Roaring Forties that you may have to brave, of the icebergs that may sink the best of you. You can feel the daily pull of the tides, and the salt smell of the sea is inescapable. 

When you leave, the harbour-master will give you a cachet of competence, but in the open sea it is your own true strength that will matter. Most of you will quickly fall into trade routes and head for well-known destinations. Some will explore a little but stay in sight of land. A few of you, more brave, will chart your own routes. There is so much out there! – not just the shores to the west where the streets are paved with gold, but high in the frozen north there's Greenland where I hear the sun never sets, and deep down under there's Tierra del Fuego where, I've been told, the Earth suddenly ends. 

So you must break free of this estuary now. Remember it with affection, come back once in a while (we'll bring out our best rum), but don't spend the rest of your lives at its edge. Bon voyage, my friend! May you sail true.

Create Nurture and Destroy

Create Nurture and Destroy, that’s what is in God’s hands. I was walking alone along the coast of Mumbai on Marine Drive and this thought crossed my mind. They call it the queen’s neckless….for which a lot was destroyed. Anyways...I was walking along the harbor and just letting the wind blow my face. I think even for Mumbai this is the only place they get fresh air…I was there to get some fresh perspective.  I was troubled by the problem of free will. Was I walking out of my free will or was I walking because I was made to? I felt good and refreshed alright but I could just sit and enjoy the same feeling. Life always poses a choice. But are those really choices or just another way to signal that its not in your control. One has to decide the consequence one is ok with, and go ahead with the choice. But then the intermediate choices mixed up with situations can deter one from the consequences expected.

Life is too complex for just one choice to decide on the consequence. It’s the small choices that count.

One has to decide every day and every moment. Funny thing is, if one needs to change the result, one can just deter on one small choice….the larger picture changes. I come back to free again. Where there is a will there is a way. But is will an illusion? Is it just as one says..a variable in the equation of situations that one creates or get created…. God Creates, Nurthures and Destroys…situations, that’s it.

DARKNESS

The darkness around me was maddening. I could hardly see anything. The whole existence seemed to have vanished around me. I was trying to move... walk ahead and try to reach out to something. But there was nothing to reach out to. No support, no clue and no plan. A plan requires you to know the resources available. I didn't know what I could use to just get out of it. How could I? It took me sometime to realize that it was not just dark, but it was empty too..I was not brushing myself against anything. I then started to wonder where I was. Or where I was before this. That could help me create a link to this place. But I just was not able to go back into my memories. It was as if, where I was....I had been there forever, without a past..and as it seemed without a future as well. But could it be that I was in an empty dark room. But how? Why? Had I been in an empty room, then at least my vision would have adjusted to the darkness. But it didn’t seem to be the case. I started to walk, I had to move to exactly decide the extent of this darkness. For hours I tried but did not walk out of the darkness and I did not hit anything. I started wondering what this place was and just as I started to panic I got a jolt…and again..and once more. And this time when I opened my eyes flashes of light pierced into my eyes. Suddenly I felt weak and exhausted. I felt a sharp pain but could not focus where.

I was surrounded by people in white robes and there was someone who was shouting continuously…very loudly….WE GOT HIM!! 

3 Pegs Down

Clearly...its not Sunday today. So if I am writing..it means I am taking out time.. from Work.!!.
Don't be shocked..its not the mayan age where the priest would be executed just to have time off.
But then...is it? Is it? Tell me can u?...

Sorry..before half of u say yes..i just wanna refine respondents. Please do not respond if u work for an IT company. Please do not respond if u r self employed. Please do not even think to respond if u r reading this.
Yes coz if u r reading this u r free enough to find this. But this is not for u.


This is for you my friend who has continued reading..who knows what it means..who knows why taking out time for something that you love needs.... 3 more pegs of whiskey. Why is it that we r passionate about our work but the work that we do is not passionate about us, I spend 18 hrs of my day wondering (working too) whether I'v done enuf... and the next 18 hrs give me an answer thats a negative..... I ask you and I will be blunt. Do you know what "Traditional Merchandise" is? If you do not just click cancel...don't even embarrass yourself,

I am writing this for you for all of you who c things around you and find it hard to explain. Your Logical mind just cannot grasp why such a thing happened. And yes you r too busy to fix it...you r just like me to read this through...coz u r looking for a meaning....