A Curse?!

Intersesting lines from a book I read...


"She would wander through life beseeching men to love her, frighten them with intensity of her affection, marry one of whose smell she could tolerate, and then resume the search for love. And she would suffer the loneliness of affairs. And on some mornings, in front of men who thanked their luck for such an easy fling, she would endure the shame of putting on her clothes, somehow more demeaning than undressing for them. She would wander this way every day of her life until she found shelter peace of age."
-SERIOUS MEN
 Manu Joseph

DETRITUS

I woke up with a start. Grabbed my MOTO G 2^nd Gen for time and saw it was 10:00 am. Yet again I realized that I had too much of it last night.  With a throbbing headache I was wondering when this would stop. I also knew the answer. I pinged my boss that I was not feeling well and crashed back to bed. But the human body is as stupid as the dog chasing his own tail. With an ashen face I was trying to sleep and yet sleep like my ex-girlfriend kept eluding me. So I decided to get up and make a cup of tea for myself. I do that every morning. Making tea in the morning is like making a to-do list for me. But somehow I just went about like a robot on auto pilot. Kapil would still be sleeping as it’s his off today. I dare wake him up. I manage Tea and a cigarette, but my head cannot manage the weight. Its 12 noon. The sun here around this time acts as if it knows how to act like a sun….I oblige and draw the curtains. I feel somewhat hungry but I wait. My job has no leaves, I always work. I open my laptop light another cigarette and work through the maze called work. Its 2 now. Kaps would usually be up by now and feed me with the days’ news. I always wonder if he gets news in sleep…. I don’t know. But he isn’t up yet. This is just like last month. Once he woke up at 5 in the evening and scolded me on how the bread was stale. I was wondering because I had brought bread only that morning. I think he has supernatural smelling powers. But then you know I am just catching a tail. I ignore it and make an omelet for myself….

I wake up with a start again…its 6 pm. The dog finally caught its tail. Since it was still quiet around, I figured Kaps is still sleeping. But he was not supposed to sleep so late today. He was to start packing as he had a late night flight back home. I thought its good for him, ma and papa. Some days off from work is always better. One should always make that concession for family. Kaps is always keen on going to Delhi. He loves it there. Me myself look for every opportunity to be with them. But then the flight is in a few hours and he has to pack too. I wonder if he is ok. And as I get up to check on him the phone rings. Its Kaps, I as usual say “salam aleykum” that’s what we say to each other when we talk on the phone. I think he is downstairs asking if I need something, but he says he reached Delhi…… I don’t know when this will stop...... I guess I know the answer…..

I Too Braved a Dream!

A chill ran down my spine and that broke my sleep. I realized I was not covering myself with the blanket and it was cold. I had drifted on to the floor. I don’t sleep on a bed. So that’s normal. The mind is ok to drift off from the bed sheet, It protects you even when you are asleep.  I covered myself, switched of the fan and then tried to reach slumber. I looked up at the ceiling, dark it was, I positioned sideways, dark again. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. Einstein was the first who propagated the theory of relative time, and believe me its true. I checked my watch it had only been 5 min…and I thought I had been trying to sleep for the past one hour. Worst part, It was already 4 a.m. During this time the biological clock sets in..it howls in your head..cummon man….no point going to sleep now!

But then I told myself something which Einstein did not and Birbal Miyan did…”this too shall pass!” And yes I did feel the shallow peace of sleep.

Life lately has been very similar to this. Whether to have a calm sleep or a disturbing push that needs to be sorted out. Time does roll in diff measures.  For me it would go at say speed T, but for someone else…its going at bloody speed t+∞!!

But then what Einstein did not know was known by us thousands of years ago. Time is what you make of it. Time is how you define it.  When you do what you are supposed to do, with complete submission to the almighty, then you break away from the shackles of space & time. But do that from heart and not your mind….. Coz Mind Justifies mistakes, heart forgives them all. Mind calculates time and the heart…it just calculates the beats…

See that’s what happens when I get up at the middle of the night…. So yes I did brave a dream…

A POEM..

Life is a poem

Some verses you write

And some just come by

The letters form words

And words create a line

Moments create time

And time defines life

That’s what a poem does

It sets the tone

It sets a sight

They say life starts with a word

I say it always ends with a word

And all that lies between.....Is a poem